Sh-t Preschoolers Say

Month

March 2012

5 posts

Mar 26, 2012129 notes
Mar 26, 2012347 notes
Mar 25, 201277 notes
So rich...

Girl 1: I have a piggy bank with money in it.

Girl 2: Well, I checked my piggy bank. I have more money than anyone in the world.

Can I have some help with my student loans??

Mar 20, 2012

Girl: Miss Erin - you look just like Cinderella!

I take this as the highest form of compliment from a 4 year old girl.

Mar 2, 2012

February 2012

10 posts

Little girl showing an “I am Special” board to the class:

Girl: This picture is of my mom.

Me: Where was this picture taken?

Girl: America. This is a picture of my dad.

Me: And where was that picture taken?

Girl: ….Shamerica….

Feb 27, 2012

Girl working at construction zone (hammer, nails, and wood): Whew… This is hard work! If I had to work like this all day I would need a break!

Feb 23, 2012
In a class book entitled "I am Thankful For..."...

A little girl draws a very elaborate picture. She says she is finished and wants me to write the words for her. She says:

“I am thankful for the stars because they shine on the world so no zombies come.”

Thank goodness for stars.

Feb 22, 2012
I'll remind you... I teach 4 and 5 year olds....

Boy: Erin, I have to tell you a secret

Me: Oooo I love secrets!

Boy: (Looks out window) It is sunny so I can tell you my secret.

Me: Exciting!!! What is it?

Boy: I think you are the most beautiful, nice, cool, nice beautiful teacher… and you have beautiful hair.

Me: Wow (child’s name), that is a very nice thing to say! Thank you!

Boy: So… what do we do now?

Me: ummm, well, you said a nice thing so I said thank you!

Boy: No, no, no… what do we do now? Hold hands, or hug?

Feb 22, 2012
Feb 22, 2012

Boy: Can you hear this?? (loooonnnng silent pause)

Me: No I didn’t hear anything…

Boy: That’s cause I was talking in my brain.

Feb 22, 2012

Me: Tell me a word that starts with the letter ‘B’

Girl: Boba fett

Me: Fair enough…

Feb 20, 2012

Boy (leans his clothed front up against the writing table): Hey look, my penis is on the table.

Feb 18, 2012

Boy (holding a marker): What is this color?
Me: It’s called magenta. It’s kind of like a dark pink.
Boy: Oh, I like it.
A few minutes pass and he asks me to write the words for his story page.
Boy: That’s the throw up germ!
Me: Which color germ is the throw up one?
Boy: Ummm… I think it’s called… Vagina?
Me (flustered, shocked, holding back laughter): Ohh, the MAGENTA ONE….

Feb 18, 2012

4 y/o: I’m painting a world where the dinosaurs lived.

Me: Ooo, I can see green for trees and brown for the ground!

4 y/o: Yes. I believe the T-Rex is from the Peracious period of time.

Feb 18, 2012
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